


This Is the End

by romanee



Series: Tokyo Ghoul Au - Ships [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Beating, Blood, Bruises, Brutal Murder, Cannibalism, Dismemberment, Dissection, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gore, Graphic Description, Gutting, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Physical Abuse, Starvation, Strangers to Lovers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8458942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanee/pseuds/romanee
Summary: When they had met nothing would have prepared Haru for what was to come and how much meeting Tachibana Makoto would change his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for a friend over on tumblr )b  
> ((still working on it so uploading it in parts/chapters even tho it should be read as one long thing;; sry txts are hard to tell apart... ill probs fix it at a later point in time... or i won't))   
> *note: they're all adults like 20's/mid20's+

**_Meeting_ **

Haru had thought he had everything under control. He thought he would have been able to get away from the other ghoul without having to fight since he had speed on his side, but when he was thrown against the wall with a hole in his stomach he knew he was fucked. 

Starved ghouls were something Haru always tried to avoid, but now it seemed like he had no choice but to fight back.

Unfortunately when he started to get up his legs were shaking uncontrollable. Haru cursed under his breath, the hole in his stomach wasn’t healing. He had been relying on coffee alone for too long and now he was paying the consequences. The ghoul who attacked him though obviously couldn’t careless and ran towards him wildly, his kagune out and aimed at Haru. 

Haru had barely dodged the clumsily aimed attack causing the others kagune stuck in the brick walls; however, he found himself on the floor again, this time from not being able to keep himself up, and the pain from the wound was too much and he ended up coughing up blood that had forced its way up this throat; at the same time blood continued to gushed out from his abdomen. _Shit… I’m losing too much blood at this rate. Damn it!_

While he was busy throwing his own blood up, he half expected to be impaled again; instead he was grabbed by the ankle of his left leg, dragged along the ground, then lifted and slammed back first into the wall. His skull was one of the first things to connect with the bricks then quickly the rest of his body followed. It felt as though his body was going to become one with the bricks with how hard he had been swung. Just as quickly had his back met the wall, he was dropped, hit the floor and grabbed again, but this time when he was spun around before the other ghoul decided to let go, sending him flying towards the opposite wall.

Haru just managed to get his kagune to come out and twisted his body so that it would lessen the impact of hitting the wall face first, but as soon as he was half turned he was forced to direct his kagune towards the ghoul coming at him with his own kagune aimed at Haru’s midsection.

Their kagunes met, but because Haru wasn’t prepared for the attack in the first place his faltered just so, causing the others koukaku to slip past his own bikaku and sliced his hip, followed by a foot kicking him in the stomach where the already there hole was trying to heal itself. For the second time his body was crushed into a wall; that was the moment everything stopped moving; nothing wanted to work.

Haru found himself being smashed who know how many more times on the walls and floor. He couldn’t help but wonder what his body looked like in this state.      

~~~~

He couldn’t feel anything.     

Every bone in his body was most likely broken at this point; breathing hurt too much so that meant a rib was broken and was angled in such a way it was poking him in the lung; the only thing he felt he could move were his eyes, but even that seemed to put too much strain on his battered body. _Just kill me already. Anything would be better than this at this point._

Getting so badly defeated this way was humiliating enough, if he was going to become food for another ghoul he’d rather it happen now instead of being a plaything any longer. _Fuck. I should have kept up a good diet instead of only sticking with coffee and some of my own flesh. Fucking stupid._

Trying to take a small breath Haru glanced at the ghoul that has done this to him; watched as they released their kagune again, it spiraled into what looked like an oversized sword that was aimed at his head. He could already imagine the kagune splitting his head open, it being the finishing blow, and Haru was fully prepared for it to come when he closed his eyes; ready to accept his fate. _What a waste of a life I’ve been._

When a splitting headache never occurred he opened his eyes slightly, though they might as well have been closed since his vision was getting spotty.

Faintly he could hear someone yelling.

Something about it being okay, that everything would be okay.

Haru didn’t believe the voice, but it sounded determined enough that Haru gave whoever was there the benefit of the doubt and let his body completely shut down.

~~~~

He should have been dead. The ghoul that had attack him should have eaten him. Twitching his fingers Haru slowly held his hand up in front of his face; his whole arm was wrapped in bandages, then he remembered the hole that was supposed to be in his stomach. Carefully he lowered his arm feeling around on this stomach, he felt more bandages, but there was no hole. _At least that’s gone… hopefully it was already healed over before I got here… wherever here is._  

His body ached but it wasn’t completely awful anymore; his body must have started to slowly heal itself while he was asleep. But he knew he wouldn’t make a full recovery until he ate meat.

“Oi, Makoto, it seems he’s awake.”

Startled by the deep voice Haru’s body tried to move to see who was talking but a shock of pain went up his spine. As much as he wanted to know what and who was around him he decided it was best to give up, and let whatever happens happen. There wasn’t much he could do in this state anyway. 

“Ohh really, that’s good, I’m glad! He was so badly injured… I didn’t think…”

Well, one of them sounded nice enough Haru thought. Though his only options were that they were also ghouls and the one who had saved him was showing pity or worse case they were investigators and thought he too was human. Cause there was no way a normal human was able to take care of a ghoul. 

When footsteps started making their way towards him, he couldn’t help but tense up; he’s never been more vulnerable than now, but then a face was hovering over his own. All he saw was green and it felt like the man was trying to reassure him with his eyes alone.

“Hello~ my name is Makoto! I helped you out early, and brought you back to our place… I hope that’s okay, it would have taken too long to get you to the hospital and I didn’t want to risk it. Oh! Right, what’s your name? But only if you can speak, no reason to push yourself!”

 _He talks a lot._ But that was something he was used to; after knowing people like Rei and Asahi this guy seemed tame.

Though Haru was more or less grateful, if he had been at a hospital they would have found out he was a ghoul in seconds; here it could be postponed or avoided, Haru was hoping for the latter.

He was going to try and speak but he soon realized his throat was too dry; he needed something to drink, so he lifted his arm and pointed to his throat. Hopefully it was enough to signal that he needed water. 

“Hmm… Oh a drink, is that what you want? Give me a sec!”

True to his word, this… Makoto person was back with a glass of water for him. He had helped Haru sit up on the couch he had been laying on – Haru tried to refuse the help but when he realized he would get nowhere he let the others help him; taking the glass Haru gulped the water down, it was iced cold and felt wonderful running down his parched throat.

“I’m going to make something to eat.”

“Alright, thanks Sou! Sorry again for forgetting to get groceries…”

Watching the two Haru ran his fingers over the glass “Haruka.”

He was given a confused look before the other realized he had told him his name.

“Nice to meet you Haruka, though it was through unfortunate circumstances.”

When he smiled at him Haru didn’t know why his stomach flipped. But it didn’t last long when he was asked if he remember what had happened to him. He lowered his gaze to the water and shook his head, “No… after the first hit to the head everything is just fuzzy…” It was better to keep as much a secret as possible.

Makoto nodded in understanding and placed a hand on his arm, but quickly removed it when Haru tensed up. He had mumbled an apology then said he was going to go help his brother in the kitchen and that it would be best for Haru to try and stay awake so he could get food in him.

Nodding Haru watched him leave. Still playing with the glass he left out a quiet sigh. _Good thing Asahi made me practice eating human food when we were younger… it’s going to take me forever to get better if I stay here too long._

-0-0-0-

**_Two Months Later_ **

They were meeting up at a diner and Haru wanted to punch himself in the face. _Stupid human and his dumb good looking face._  

Haru was currently looking himself over in the mirror buttoning up his shirt. It was a boring navy blue but he didn’t want to spend even more time fussing about what he should wear. Not for a human… at least that’s what he tried to tell himself.

 _I’m meeting up with a human and not just any normal human no of course not! But a ghoul investigator, who saved me two months ago, and thinks I’m also a human… good going Haruka… good going_.

Ignoring his own thoughts Haru gave himself one more glance in the mirror; running his fingers through his hair he took a deep breathe in through his nose then let it out through his mouth.

_Let’s get this over with._

~~~~

Cracking his neck Haru looked around; trying to act like he hadn’t showed up fifteen minutes early, he pulled out his phone and put on some music, keeping it on low just in case. _Maybe he changed his mind about wanting to meet up with me… or maybe something came up and he can’t make it…_ quickly Haru threw that thought out, he had been here early to begin with, so of course he would now have to wait; now however, time seemed to be speeding up cause their agreed meeting time was getting closer.

Before he could dwell too much on the thought of being ditched he felt his phone vibrate signaling he got a text. Confused he pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw he had a message from an unknown number; squinting he opened it apprehensively.

Hey, hey!! Going to be in the twentieth ward for a couple of days for work! Want to hang out when I’m not busy?? Though that’s if you still live there…

Frowning Haru contemplated on whether or not he should respond, but right before he could delete the message another one popped up.

Haruka are you there or are you ignoring me again (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)   

Taken aback Haru tried to run through the few people who had his number, when he realized only one person used those dumb emoticons besides Makoto.

Asahi…? 

“Haruka!! Haruka! I hope you weren’t waiting long!! I’m sorry I was late!”

Jumping Haru looked around for the voice calling him name. Properly pulling the earbud out, he finally spotted Makoto hurrying towards him looking as though he ran a marathon just to get here. When he got close enough he bent over placing his hands on his knees to catch his breath, “Sorry…”

Rolling his eyes Haru reached down and tugged on Makoto’s sleeve, “Come on, and its fine I wasn’t waiting too long.” _I hardly noticed the time anyway; besides being five minutes late isn’t bad at all._

Once they took their seats in the diner a thought occurred to Haru, “Why didn’t you just send a text?”

Watching Makoto flush and scratch his cheek was endearing.

“Ahhh well, I – I kind of forgot… I was in such a hurry…” he hung his head in embarrassment, but Haru couldn’t help but smile a little. _That’s cute._

In his pocket his phone continued to buzz with text messages that kept coming in that were most likely from Asahi. Haru ignored them all.

~~~~

While he had enjoyed himself talking to Makoto… or really it was more him listening to Makoto talk, he really needed to go throw up the food that he had eaten not too long ago it was starting to make his insides feel gross. Everything tasted disgusting and made him feel queasy; hell acting like he liked that shit was the easy part, he at least had Makoto’s stories of when he started at the academy to distract him – bite chew swallow, nod at attention and repeat – but now all he was thinking about now was getting that trash out of his stomach. And fast.

Makoto was in the middle of explaining what their ranking systems meant or something like that when he spoke up, “Sorry, but I have to use the restroom… I’ll be right back.”

“Oh sorry, yeah go ahead!”

Calmly he got up and made his way to the men’s room.

_Be quick, if you take too long he’ll become suspicious. He’s an investigator after all, there is no such thing as being in the clear when dealing with them, not yet in my case at least._

With the door locked Haru went through the motions; went to the toilet then shoved his hand down his throat, instantly the contents that had been floating around in his stomach came spilling out. He wanted to gag at the taste coming back up his esophagus, but somehow he managed to keep quiet, however, he couldn’t do anything about the mess coming out of him as it met the toilet water.

Considering it tasted awful going down, it tasted even worse coming back up; as it always did when he subjected himself to consuming the trash humans called food.  Wiping his mouth he went over to sink to wash his hands and splashes his face with some water. Looking himself over in the mirror to make himself presentable once again when he felt his phone go off.

Running his hands over his eyes Haru fished his phone out of his pocket, he hands were shaking slightly. _What could Asahi possible want?_ Taping the screen he opened up his messages… almost thirty messages… all from Asahi. Shaking his head, Haru sighed as he started to go through them while making his way back to his table where Makoto was waiting.

Haruka!! Yes its mee who else would you be texting?!  (*・∀-)☆

Frowning at the message he moved on to the next

Haruka? Ha~ ru~ kaaaaa~~

HARUKA! o(*≧□≦)o

_This can’t possibly be all he sent this whole time…_

Sitting down he scrolled down to another couple messages that were indeed the same thing, just Asahi typing Haru’s name in various ways and adding those ridiculous emoticons all other the place. Then he got the a few texts that were just emoticons before reaching an actual short message.

Heyyy would it be okay if I crashed with you??! *＼( *ω*)┓

_Why me?_

It’ll be like old times!!! (•̀o•́)ง

“Haru…ka, is everything okay?”

Slowly looking up from his phone with a blank face he nodded, “Sorry it’s just a friend had been texting me. Wants to stay with me while he’s here…” he looked back down at his phone.

I’ll be good I promise!!!  (「꒪౪꒪)」

Haru couldn’t help but squint at the message, Asahi was anything but good when he was over.

“Oh… am I keeping you…?”

Tensing he looked back up at Makoto with wide eyes, “No. He can wait. I’ll just… tell him I’m out right now… and get back to him later.” He would much rather spend more time with Makoto anyway. Especially since he would let Asahi stay with him in the end, he wouldn’t admit it out loud but he missed his friend.

Seeing a smile on Makoto’s face put him back at ease and he quickly typed up a response:

One, I’m out right now. Two, if you stop sending me nonsense, then yes you can stay with me, just… why?

It was almost scary with how fast Asahi responded.

Ooohhh out on a hot date?? (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘) and I don’t want to share a room with Aki-chan > 3 < she’s mean and strict!! And am I not allowed to want to hang out with my friend!? (*ﾟﾛﾟ)

Cheeks flaming Haru ignored the first half of the message and focused on the end.

“Aki-chan?” He knew that name sounded familiar when Makoto mentioned it before.

“Aki!”

Maybe they were different people…

“Mmhm” Haru didn’t know how else to respond.

“Who’s your friend!? Are they a friend of Aki-san??!” _He has no right to look so cute while that excited._

“She’s all about work so I’m surprised!” Makoto was leaning forward in his seat now looking at him expectantly.

So Haru gave him so background. “He’s an investigator too, he works with her.”

Now the wheels in Makoto’s head were turning as he mutters to himself before snapping his fingers saying, “Shiina Asahi!”

His phone vibrated in his hand.

I can stay with you right… I already told her I had a place to stay…

Haru nodded to Makoto who continued to look illegally cute, and then sent confirmation to Asahi.

My home is your home dummy.

+

After leaving the diner they decided on going for a walk, not going anywhere in particular, but not yet wanting to go their separate ways. One thing Haru learned was that he really enjoyed listening to Makoto talk.

“I’m still surprised you know Shiina-kun! I never would have thought you two were such close friends!”

Snorting Haru nodded, “Since he’s busy most the time we hardly talk and months will go by” he pulled his phone out and started going through his pictures, “but when he’s in town we catch up” finding the picture he wanted he turned it towards Makoto so he could see, “He complains about work most of the time and becomes really lazy.”

Upon seeing the picture Haru was showing him Makoto started laughing uncontrollably; in the picture was Asahi sprawled out in nothing but his boxers, surrounded by candy wrappers and empty crushed cans of what could be either beer or soda, but since Haru had been the one to take care of Asahi that morning he knew it was beer; the blanket he had been sleeping under was tossed carelessly to the side.

“Wow.” Makoto wiped away the tears that had rolled down his cheeks in his laughing fit. “He’s always relaxed and friendly, but I’ve never seen him that comfortable around someone before, I’m guessing that was from his last visit?”

Humming Haru tucked his phone away smiling fondly, “Yeah that was… about eight months ago.”

The shock on Makoto’s face didn’t go unnoticed, “Like I said, we go months without talking.” _I do wonder why he used a different phone though he usually just uses his personal one._

“Hey, Haruka… can I walk you home?”

Haru choked on the air, “W-what?”

+

If you were to tell him two months ago that he would be walking home with a human who wasn’t going to be food, he would have scoffed and rolled his eyes at you; if you were to tell him that that human was a ghoul investigator he wouldn’t have given you the time of the day to even get the words out after hearing the word investigator.

Yet here Haru was, walking with a ghoul investigator, late into the afternoon, who happened to have a pair of pretty eyes – which he didn’t think about pulling out and eating thank you very much – and a charming smile to match.  

It had been quiet between them after Haru told Makoto that he could in fact walk him home if he really wanted to, to which Makoto had bowed and thanked him telling him that he very much so wanted to escort him home, the whole time he did a terrible job at hiding his blush and Haru found it really cute with how excited and embarrassed he seemed to be at the thought of just walking him home. All these little things he does are just really cute.

While Haru had had a good time out he knew he should probably start to cutting ties with Mako – the investigator – he needed to start referring to him as such… at least in his head – enough time had passed already and he can’t let it go on any further. The less he saw of the other man the better, his life was one thing, but when Ikuya and Rei visited he didn’t want them to have to worry about being found out by an investigator; they already got panicky when Asahi is over he doesn’t want to worry them too much more.

“Haruka?”

Grabbing his attention back, he looked up at Makoto, “Sorry what?”

“Ahh well… I had a fun time today and I was thinking…”

_Please no._

“We should do this again!”

Before Haru could even try to refuse an all too familiar voice was heard in the distance.

“HARU~~KAA~”

Then footsteps got louder and Haru barely prepared himself for Asahi to tackle him, unfortunately Asahi had jumped and the force sent to two of them crashing to the floor.

“Haruka!! How I’ve missed you soo! It really has been too long, and it’s getting late you don’t usually stay out this long unless you’re doing late night shopping. Oh are you getting stuff for me?? You really are the best!”

Haru tried to shove Asahi off of him but the squirmy human only tightened his hold on him.  

“Shiina-kun!?”

“Asahi please got off of me.”   

Haru felt Asahi tense up at Makoto’s voice, “Tachibana!!??” Haru doesn’t think he had seen Asahi move so quickly on his off days. The next thing Haru new was that Asahi was laughing nervously – at least it sounded off to Haru – and tugging him up with a lot of force. _What the hell is his problem?_

“Hah… didn’t now know you two knew each other!” Asahi dug his knuckle particularly hard into his arm. “When were you going to tell me you made a new friend Haru~” Frowning Haru eyed Asahi, he was acting like himself, but more tense then normal… something was wrong, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure it out; it was only them and Makoto.

_Wait. Could that –_

“Sorry… must have slipped my mind, besides, this this the first time we’ve really hung out.”

“Mmhmm I was just walking Haruka home!”

“I see, I see, well I got it from here! You should get home too; I’m sure your brother would rather have you home too, oh and I’m sure you’ve guessed it already, but Aki-chan is here too so you should be expecting an email or call from her!” With that Asahi looped his arm with his and dragged him away.  “

Later Tachibana!”

All Haru could do was throw his hand up and wave.

“Oh… umm bye Haruka, bye Shiina-kun…” 

+

After Asahi slammed the door shut Haru watched as he locked the door and looked out the peephole.

“What’s your deal?”

Spinning around he pressed his back against the door and started at Haru, “He’s an investigator.”

_Yes I know that, I’m well aware actually._

“Why are hanging out with an investigator?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because Nanase Haruka doesn’t just hang out with the enemy for the shits and giggles that’s why!”

Sighing Haru rubbed his temples, “not so loud, you don’t need to wake everyone up with your yelling and all my neighbors think my last name is Nagase. Now come and sit down.”

Glances out the peephole one last time Asahi sat on the free spot next to Haru, “Nagase Haruka…” Haru watched as his nose scrunched up in distaste, “Nanase is the only name that suits you, but got it, I’ll be more careful.”

Sighing Haru thanked Asahi quietly, but was surprised when Asahi shoved him lightly with his shoulder, “So… your hot date was with Tachibana, eh? Not bad I guess, all the women at the CCG are always fawning over him and his brother, Yamazaki, have you met him? Anyway…”

Deciding it would be better to cut to the chase to save them both time, Haru explained how and why he knew Tachibana Makoto, “… And before I could get out of their apartment he asked for my number… all we’ve done is text till today.”

“I want to punch you so hard in the face right now for not taking care of yourself, but that’s not what good friends do and I’m an amazing friend, besides that’s all in the past now.” While he said that Haru knew he was still upset, to prove that Haru was right in thinking that Asahi took a deep breath and calmed himself, though his hands were still clenching and unclenching.

“Why didn’t you tell me that happened? I mean I know I’m human and an investigator, but still I’m your friend first and foremost… I think I deserved some sort of call, or at least something letting me know you’re okay!”

Standing up Haru went around the couch, but stopped, rubbed his eyes and quickly went back to Asahi – whom still had his head in his hands – and wrapped his arms around him giving him a quick hug, “Sorry.” No sooner Haru was in the kitchen preparing the making something for them to eat. It was his way of apologizing for keeping his friend out of the loop.  Asahi one of those ramen things he always bought when he stayed over and for himself he got some of the leftover liver he still had.

“Aww you kept my ramen, how sweet of you!!” Asahi peeked over his shoulder to look into the fridge; the squeeze on his arm didn’t go unnoticed, “Man, you just keep all this stuff out in the open… what if someone saw all these containers full of organs?”

“No one besides you is over, so it’s fine.”

“Right only human friend allowed over, I see.” He chuckled, “Still makes me feel special!” 

Haru hummed as he closed the fridge and got to work cutting the liver into easy to eat slices, he wasn’t hungry but he didn’t want Asahi to eat alone. Once they were seated and eating they ate for the most part in silence aside from Asahi complaining about work every now and again; just like he usually did. Haru as always nodded and listened making sounds of agreement when needed. That was until he got back on the subject of Makoto.   

“I’m not going to nag you… we’re adults and I know you can take care of yourself, when you actually eat properly, but… just be careful alright? I know Tachibana looks all smiley and happy but you haven’t worked with the guy before… so just promise to be careful, yeah?”

Lifting a slice of liver to his mouth Haru made a sound of confirmation, once the piece of meat was swallowed Haru spoke, “Are you just going to be vague with me or actually tell me what makes him so dangerous?” When Asahi gave him a look he let out a soft chuckle, “besides the fact that he kills my kind for a living.”

Asahi got up to throw his trash away, “Maybe another time. I’m kind of tired and I still have to get up early and head down to the Wards Branch Office in the morning.”

_Dodging the question, but that’s alright, he’ll tell me when the time is right I’m sure._

Helping Asahi set up his futon, Haru tried not to think about the possibility of Makoto killing him, but it was something he should be aware of if he continued whatever it was that had started between him and the investigator. He could try and tell himself he would cut contact off but he knew he wouldn’t in the long run.

That night when he went to bed, he looked at his phone and saw a single message waiting to be read:

Hope you two got home safe! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

I had a fun time today hope we can hang out again soon~ have a good night Haruka! (ෆ ͒•∘̬• ͒)◞

Blushing Haru sent a quick message then pulled the covers over his head. _Stupid emoticons._  


	2. Chapter 2

**_Six Months Later_ **

While a lot didn’t usually change in Haru’s life, he liked to keep things relatively the same, now there were plenty of new things that happened in a short amount of time over the last couple of months.

Some not necessarily good for his health and they all revolved around one person, Tachibana Makoto:

Makoto sending him good morning texts everyday (and at the end of the day a goodnight text was always a waiting him), Makoto sending flowers to the bakery he worked at, Makoto coming down to have lunch with him on the days his schedule would allow it, and movie night; where Makoto would spend the night and all they would do is watch movies. Since Haru didn’t get to watch too many movies growing up he always let Makoto pick, then again it was just Makoto bringing his own movies for home for them to watch. It was a fun and nice change to his normally boring routine.

Oh. And calling Makoto his boyfriend official was also very nice; it was a foreign feeling but it was more than welcomed. The consequences can be damned.

Though, now wasn’t the time to be thinking about those things, pulling out his phone he typed up a quick message to Makoto telling him he had to cancel their usual movie plans, because of a family-friend emergency; which wasn’t a lie but not the full truth either, and once he got a reply back from Makoto saying that he understood and hoped everything would be okay, Haru got ready to go meet up with Ikuya and Rei.

~~~~

Check his phone to make sure he was in the right place; he saw that Rei had sent another round of texts.

HARUKA-SAN PLEASE HURRY!

-

HARUKA ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY STILL??

-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

Picking up his pace he took off in a light jog, towards the outskirts of the twentieth ward; he knew they were out hunting to bring food as a gift, but still something was wrong and he really hoped it had nothing to do with the CCG and they were just having trouble dealing with some other ghouls that had chased them out of town. Or better yet, hopefully Rei was just overreacting, cause that he could deal with.

+

Of course that was too much to ask for now wasn’t it.

Ducking into a bush, Haru pulled his mask out from his hoodie and slipped it over his face, and sent a quick message to Rei telling him he was there and to only move if it was one hundred percent necessary.

Tucking his phone away securely he crept out and maneuvered around the land as quietly as he could while looking for his friends. Stopping every couple of steps he took he listened to make sure none of the investigators where around him.

Carefully he peeked at his phone to see if Rei had texted him back, so when he saw that he did have one he flattened himself onto the ground and pulled the screen close to his face.

THERE ARE FOUR INVESTIGTORS CLOSE TO WHERE I AM AND IKUYA IS A COUPLE TREES AWAY FROM ME, THERE ARE TWO MORE INVESTIGTORS NEAR HIM! SO SIX IN TOTAL!

Frowning, Haru’s grip on his phone tightened and he bit the inside of his cheek. _They could have killed them already, but with that many it would be bad if one of them got away or called for help… good thing I cancelled on Makoto, they need me more._   

Keeping to the floor Haru shimmied his way across the dirt ground keeping his ears and eyes open for any movement that could either be his friends or the investigators. _Group together and we’ll have the upper hand._

That was the idea anyway.

But when he noticed the dim light to his phone going off he checked it really quick and his heart dropped to his stomach. What the hell was he doing here?!

Haruka I swear I’m trying to keep them away from your friends as much as possible but one of them is calling for back up, I know you’re here to help them, but please make it quick there is only so much I can do!

Asahi _Why is he out here?!_

~~~~

Asahi was awful at pretending, but the fact his acting was working made Haru question the intelligent level of what was required at the CCG. Then again Haru’s own acting was pretty terrible, but pretending to act like Asahi’s fake acts were actually doing something was fairly entertaining to say the least. He glances back and making sure Rei and Ikuya were still good; at some point one of the others investigators tried to go in guns blazing, quite literally since his quinque was something that resembled a gun like weapon, but ended up with Ikuya tearing his left leg off with his kagune instead. However, one of the investigators stray attacks had pierced Ikuya in his right kneecap.

Seeing that Ikuya was slowing getting back up to his feet – he had eaten the investigators dismembered leg since it seem no one liked to properly take care of themselves – he was about to turn and tell them they were leaving, but then Ikuya moved pasted him going for the investigator who had hurt his knee and the very same who’s leg he had just eaten.

Before he knew it Asahi was forced out of the way and the others were yelling as the investigator Ikuya went for was thrown into a tree.

Quickly both Rei and him got back to back and let the investigators surround them; from the corner of his eyes he saw Rei adjust his mask like he did with his glasses – since his mask only covered the upper half of his face he ended up doing that a lot – so Haru waited for what Rei’s impromptu plan that he had most definitely came up with on the spot.

Whispering so Haru was the only one who would be able to hear him Rei chuckled quietly, “Haruka-san I have absolutely no idea what we should do. But it seems Ikuya-san has taken the best route to things; attack and hope for the best!”

_You’ve got to be –_

Cracking his neck on either side Haru cut his thought off short and simply nodded then said one last thing, “You’ve got my back; I’ve got yours, keep an eye out for Ikuya, and the backup they called for.” He reached back and tapped the back Rei’s arm. _We leave together._ “Oh and don’t be afraid to get a little ruff with Shiina if you get to him.”

He took a step forward and went to the man standing in front of him, while Rei went for his own chosen target his kagune coming out in a flash of blue and purple like wings.

Releasing his own kagune, Haru dodged the sloppy swings of the investigator, then dug his heels into the ground forcing his body to stop, but kept his kagune moving forward as it twisted and drilled into the investigators stomach and out through his back; once his end of his kagune made it through the body it fanned out like a fishes tail, blood and bones squishing from the force of his kagune continuing to fan out while inside the body. While the now screaming man was still on his kagune, Haru had his kagune curve back around and pierced the man in the face from the back of the head where it sliced the top of his head from his mouth up off; the screaming instantly gone only a gurgling type sound from the blood pooling out of the lower jaw. In one swift movement Haru tossed the body to side like a stack of bricks, moving one to his next investigator. His kagune wrapped around his own waist and down his right leg as he jumped and moved his body so all the attacks aimed at him missed. The investigator standing next to Asahi looked like he was going to back out and leave, but before he could Ikuya’s rinkaku wrapped around his ankles and dragged the investigator back to him.

Once again he was facing off with Asahi, but they had had serious fights before as practice, so he would treat this moment just like any of their other fights. But since it was Asahi, he gave Haru time to glance around and make sure both Rei and Ikuya were doing fine.

It seemed Ikuya was just toying with two of the last investigators, while Rei was also just messing around with the one he had started off with, “You guys really do just let anyone become an investigator?”

“Hey just because I can’t see your face doesn’t mean I don’t know what kind of look your giving me so wipe that smirk off your face! And how they pick is none of my business, these guys were fools who thought this would be an easy job. Newbies are all the same, cocky.” Asahi shook his head and took a readied stance. Haru followed suit.

Rei’s laughter could be heard behind them and they both couldn’t help but smile, even though his smile went unseen; both took off and met with a clash of kagune and quinque. Haru managed to get Asahi on the face and arms; occasionally on the legs, while Asahi also got Haru with his own attacks, most where on his stomach, back and occasionally on his arms and legs from him blocking the quinque.

Haru’s was going to have his kagune trip Asahi when he took a step back, but when he looked up at Asahi’s face he noticed that he was frozen were he stood, eyes focused on whatever was behind him. Haru stopped what he had been going to do and glanced back to see a shadow looming over him. His eyes widened and he barely registered Asahi hissing under his breath, “Move, fucking move right now!”

Feeling his blooding coursing through his body, he dropped down to the floor and whispered a silent apology to Asahi while quickly moving around him then got back up and kicked Asahi in the back sending him crashing into the newcomers chest.

_We need to leave now; I’m not going to fight –_

“Fucking hell, watch it Shiina!”

_Yamazaki… shit._

“Haaahhhaa sorry, sorry, lost my footing there.”

Haru couldn’t tell if it was his own blood rushing in his ears or if it was Asahi’s blood flow that he was zeroing in on, but with shaky hands Haru pulled his hood of his jack up and made sure it stayed in place just in case. Behind him he could hear Sousuke huff then shove Asahi out of the way, “You let two comrades die, just step back and let me and Makoto take care of things.”

And that was the last thing Haru wanted to deal with. 

~~~~

Dodging attack after attack Haru was starting the breath hard. He only came here to get his friends and leave, now he was fighting or more trying to avoid fighting, Makoto’s brother. That being said, Makoto had just tried to kill Ikuya from behind. Haru knew Ikuya would have been fine, he could already see Ikuya preparing one of his rinkaku to block the attack, but Rei intervened instead, using his own rinkaku.

“Pay attention to me!”

Doing a flip Haru twisted his body and deflected a swing from Sousuke’s quinque with his kagune, from the looks of it, his quinque had been most likely from a ghoul with a koukaku; it took on the appearance of a shield, but Haru could see the sharp jagged edges all around it and knew that if it that made contact with his skin, it would be shredded down to the bone or worse, cut off a limb it came in contact with.

Another swing was coming at him when his back hit a tree and a split second later he had just barely enough time to wrap his kagune around one of Sousuke’s arms holding it still, his quinque a breath away from cutting his mask and revealing his face. Haru could feel Sousuke trying to push forward so his attack would slice Haru’s face in half but then he caught a glimpse of Ikuya and his eyes widened when he noticed Sousuke’s body tensed then went still. His arms losing the power he had just been showing; then Haru saw the blood tinkling from the corner of Sousuke’s mouth.

The kagune that was through Sousuke’s diaphragm area slowly slid out; Sousuke’s body wobbled as he tried to keep himself up.

Haru was frozen; he looked to Ikuya then to Sousuke before faintly hearing yelling. When I looked up from Sousuke’s body body falling in front of him, he saw Makoto rushing over with a look Haru has never seen on his face; however, he had seen it on countless investigators, pure unadulterated hatred and anger.

~~~~

“Haruka!”

“Haruka-san!”

“Haru!”

Tugging his mask off Haru spit out the blood that had started to collect in this throat and slid down the tree till he was sitting on the ground.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!! Okay, you two take Haru back home! I’ll deal with these two okay?! Just… make sure he’s alright and makes it through the night!”

“Of course Shiina-san.”

Holding his hand over the bleeding wound, Haru rasped out, “Make sure… both…” choking on some blood Haru hacked up and spit it out, “both make it.”

Asahi nodded vigorously, “yeah, yeah, sure Haru, but worry about you right now.”

He gave a weak nod before finally looking down at Makoto’s unconscious body.

_I’m sorry._

+

When Haru came too, he was back at home.

Slowly he started to sit up, but then he felt a weight on his legs; rubbing his eyes he squinted at what was on laying on him. Ikuya’s form started to take shape and Haru realized his friend was draped over both his legs. He looked to his right then and saw that Rei was also in the room, except his was sitting on the floor, his back against the bedframe and his head tilted to the side. On his face his glasses still sat; so Haru reached over and carefully pulled them off and setting them beside his pillow, then gently ran his fingers through Rei’s hair. He did the same to Ikuya before lying back down to get more sleep.

Vaguely he felt his throat throbbing, but he ignored it and passed back out.   

~~~~

_“Haruka smile for mommy!” the woman was laughing while trying to get her baby boy to smile for her while her husband oh so gently held him over the water, so his tiny feet skimmed the surface._

_“Honey look!! He looks so excited!!” she held a hand over her mouth while tears started to cloud her vision. “My little boy…”_

_Gently her husband set the two year old in the water and held onto the child with his hand cradling the child by his tiny stomach and pointed to the woman, “Haruka try swimming to mommy okay? I’ve got you; nothing’s going to happen as long as I got you.” He bent forward and kissed the crown of the little boys head.  The little boy blew bubbles in the water and looked at his mother._

_Soon tiny legs started to kick and slowly the child started to move forward, with a little help from his father whose hand was hovering just under the child. Both parents gave little cheers._

_“Good job Haruka!”_

_“Look how far you’ve gotten already!”_

_The praises made the little boy give content hums that turned into even more bubbles since his mouth was still under the water. Then before he knew it he was in his mother’s arms and she was holding him up kissing his cheeks once twice thrice. “Momma!” voice quiet he chanted the word with each kiss that landed on his cheeks. When both mother and child were engulfed in a large hug from dad, the child continued to make little excited happy sounds, while his mother kissed her husband on the cheek as well._

_“I love our little family so much.”_

When he woke up gasping for breath he was reaching out towards the ceiling, “Momma…” dried and new tears stained Haru’s cheeks; not a second later he was smothering his mouth with both hands and he cried in earnest. _How many years have passes since I last dreamed about mom and dad?_ In the dream, he had been standing to the side watching as everything played out and for some reason it felt more like a lost memory.

Quiet gasps and silent sobs racked though his body; he turned towards the wall and curled up into a ball, hands still covering his face.

It was like that when he fell back asleep and the door to his room opened and two heads peeked in, looking torn apart from having heard their friend. But all the same they left and let Haru continue sleeping.  

+

When Haru woke up again the dream had more or less faded from his memory but he was filled him with warmth from remembering the love his parents had for him. _I wonder why I had such a dream though…_

However, any thought that he would have continued to have stopped when his door burst open and Rei was standing before him arms crossed, “Haruka-san, can you try speaking for me for just a moment!?”

Still dazed from just waking up Haru nodded and opened his mouth but what came out was a godawful sound, and then he tasted blood.

“As I thought, the blood in your throat has clotted up from trying to heal your wound… here I’ll get you some coffee and water to sooth it, but you are forbidden from speaking and eating solid food, if any of the clots are ripped you may start coughing up blood again and your healing process will be prolonged!”

+

Not being allowed to talk was probably the last of Haru’s worries. He wanted to think about his dream and relish in the warm feelings it gave him but that seemed to be impossible now. Especially when he had Rei and Ikuya bickering back and forth trying to decide what would be the best to help him heal faster. And honestly Haru just wanted to sleep, after last night and almost getting killed by his most important person really took a lot out of him.

_Wait_

_Since when was Makoto my most important –_

“Haruka-san, please tell Kirishima-san that when it would be better if we started only to save the organs for you; the skin and bones of a human is the worst part anyway!”

 _Oh he’s Kirishima-san now, Rei must really be upset._ Haru couldn’t help but smile a little at that.

When he didn’t say anything though Rei turned to him with a confused look on his face when Ikuya made an annoyed noise, “You told him he couldn’t talk, so of course he’s not going to respond, besides, I don’t think Haruka cares what he eats as long as he’s able to eat and get better.”

Rei looked as though he was going to go off again, but was interrupted by a loud knock at the front door.

Ikuya immediately left to go answer the door, leaving Rei standing in the middle of the room. “Honestly, the best thing for you is if you ate the organs, like the heart, liver, or even the kidneys!” Haru figured Rei was talking more to himself rather than actually addressing him.

Grabbing his phone, Haru tapped the side of his bed till he got Rei’s attention, once he had it he motioned for Rei to come closer, and when he did Haru typed out what he wanted to say on his phone then showed it to Rei.

It’s fine, I’m not hungry anyway, you two can do whatever you want with the body… eat what you guys want, just don’t make too much of a mess in the kitchen. 

He hoped that would at least get them to stop bicker for the time being.

Rei gave a sort of pout and pushed up his glasses, “Well… I suppose that would be alright, if you’re not hungry.” He obviously wanted to say more but then another familiar smell made itself present in the home. _Well now I know Asahi made it out alright._

Walking back into the room Ikuya brought in Asahi, “Come on Ryugazaki, we got a body to box up.”

Soon they were left alone in the room. But not before Rei poked his head back into the room one last time. “Just know that even though we’ll be in the kitchen we’ll still be able to hear what you’re talking about, at least your side of the conversation.” 

“Uhh, right… good to see you guys too… and I’ll keep that in mind.” Haru knew the other two were still uneasy around Asahi and tended to go a bit too far when he visited, but he hoped this incident showed them that when it comes to the three of them Asahi is on their side.

“Hey, Haru, how are you feeling?”

Exhausted, sore, a bunch of things he wouldn’t have to admit out loud so instead he typed out a single word and showed it to Asahi.

Tired

“You sure, I mean it… your injury must have been bad if you can’t talk.”

They want me to be safe and not strain my throat while it heals, that’s all.

“Ah… I see… well, I guess I’ll just get to the point since I’m sure they’re going to want me to leave as soon as possible, but Tachibana wanted me to tell you that he was okay… Yamazaki too, but they’re both going to be in the hospital for a while. So I think that it would be best if you got your wound healed up quick so you can visit him, so nothing seems out of the ordinary, but that’s just a suggestion, you can do whatever you want.”

_Give me a couple days… I’m still more or less dazed that my boyfriend and his brother tried to kill me and my friends last night. I’m guessing he just got up… since my last three calls went unanswered._

“Yeah, he just woke up a couple hours ago, told me thanks and to leave them to the doctors.”

_I tried not to aim for any of his major organs…_

“Hey, Haru… I know – I know I told you this way back when, when you two first met, but be careful, and just keep in mind that if you run into any more investigators, Yamazaki and Tachibana are most likely also going to get called in, everyone here really looks up to them.”

I know, thank you Asahi.

Asahi sighed and ran his hands through his hair while sitting at the end of Haru’s bed, “I just… I have to be careful too ya know? As much as I want to help you I have to look out for myself too.”

A small smile stretched on Haru’s face. He scooted closer and placed a hand on Asahi’s arm and pulled him back for a hug so he could rest head on the back of Asahi’s shoulder. _I know. Take care of yourself too._

-0-0-0-

**_A Couple Days Later_ **

Tearing into the flesh of the heart in his hands Haru took deep breaths after each swallow, he didn’t realize just how hungry he was till he started rummaging around in the fridge while Rei and Ikuya kept yelling over each other, telling him it would be better to just wait till Makoto got out of the hospital to visit him.

“You guys, it’s not a big deal, and I’ll be in and out not a problem.” His throat was still a little sore but it was better to start eating solid foods again and using those muscles. 

“Still, Haruka it doesn’t hurt to be safe, who knows how many other investigators, will also be their visiting them… their highly ranked after all.” 

 _I forgot where Frist Class stands… I’ll have to ask Makoto… or maybe it would be better to ask Asahi._ Haru shrugged to himself and went on eating the heart in this hand.

“Maybe… one of us could go with you?”

_No way_

“I don’t think so; you and Rei are both staying here, or you’re going back home to the third ward. I want you two to stay as far away from them as possible, for time to go on and for everyone to forget anything even happened.”

“Haruka… you can’t just forget you almost killed each other… and he doesn’t even know it was you he could have killed.”

Grinding his teeth together he ended up squeezing the heart and slammed his hands on the table splattering blood everywhere. Haru turned on them, directing all his frustration to them as calmly as he could.

“Don’t you think I know that?! That’s all I’ve been able to think about since you’ve both bed ridden me!” he felt water in his eyes, “I… I don’t want to lose anyone but the longer this goes on I might and that’s really scary! I don’t want to lose any more people in my life; especially over something as stupid as falling in love with a human that’s an investigator!”

The other two just stared back at him with wide eyes; mouths opening and closing, and Haru stared right back at them, breathing hard and  trying to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to fall. However, when the feeling of water lightly ran down his cheeks, he wasn’t surprised. Quickly he rubbed the water away with his sleeve and turned away from their concerned looks.

“Look, I promise I’ll be careful. I promise I’ll be back soon and… I won’t forget what happened; I can’t even if I want to, but know that every waking moment I spend with Makoto I’m trying to erase it from my memory.”

Without leaving room for any more conversation on the matter Haru quickly washed his hands and rinsed his mouth out with water then left his apartment and started his trip to the hospital.

~~~~

Ohh and just be ready to be bombarded by two of my coworkers when you get here… their kind of excited to meet you! ( ；´Д｀)

Reflexively Haru grip tightened on his phone.

_You can do this Nanase just… make sure Makoto is okay and then you can leave; nice and simple._

+

It was everything but nice and simple.

When he knocked on the door, he was expecting to hear Makoto telling him he could come in; what he wasn’t expecting was for the door to fly open by a tall man that looked far too happy greeting him.

“Come in, come in, we’ve been waiting on you!”

When said man grabbed and dragged him in by his arm, Haru had to fight against everything in his body to not twist and rip the man’s arm off. _Don’t kill him don’t kill him don’t kill him don’t kill him don’t kill him!_

It wasn’t until he caught sight of Makoto who was looking at him worriedly; and it seemed he was trying to comfort him with a smile; Haru had to force himself to giving a small one in return. _Don’t look like you want to kill the man who is currently touching you. Look… nervous?_

Whatever look he gave seemed to work, because Makoto was now looking at him like he was his entire world and that kind of terrified Haru.

But all those things were pushed aside when the man who dragged him into the room finally let go and started to introduce himself.

“Now for quick introductions, then we’ll get out of your hair,” Haru pretended to not notice the wink he sent Makoto’s way, “I’m Sasabe Goro, I’ve know these two since they were younglings and this here is – 

A short woman cut him off, “I’m Yazaki Aki; it’s a pleasure meeting you…?” Haru started at her until he noted that she was waiting on him to introduce himself.

“Um Nagase Haruka” he gave a stiff bow act casual, be friendly, “it’s a pleasure to meet you too.”  

She – Yazaki, smiled and opened her mouth to speak again but instead of her voice the man, Sasabe, spoke and slapped him on the back making him loose his footing, “What a nice young man! He’s a keeper Makoto!”

His cheeks felt warm, and from one glance in Makoto’s direction he could see his cheeks were slightly redder as well.

“How much longer are you two going to stay, I’d like to go back to sleep.” Sousuke asked from his own bed, everyone in the room looked at him and Haru glanced around at everyone’s reaction; Yazaki looked found; Sasabe looked like he was going to laugh again, and Makoto looked apologetic. When he finally looked at Sousuke as well, Haru noticed that all of his chest was wrapped up, a little bit of dried blood could be seen on the white material of his bandages.

 _It could have been so much worse…_ Haru had to bite the inside of his cheek in order to keep himself calm.

+

Even though they said they would leave right after learning Haru’s name and him theirs it wasn’t until after Yazaki and Sasabe put him in the hot seat and asked him a bunch of questions that ranged from: what his favorite color was: blue, what his favorite food was: mackerel – he had stared at them for a solid second when he realized he couldn’t say internal organs, so he went with the first thing he remembered from the ocean documentary he, Rei and Ikuya had been watching the day before; did he have any siblings: no – he didn’t but he mentioned that his friends were like the siblings he never had; what he was doing for work: barker at a bakery near his home, so on and so forth.

It was an experience… telling investigators simple things about himself, but also fitting in enough lies that seemed reasonable. _At least they believed everything I told them…_   

Soon after the departure of Yazaki and Sasabe, Sousuke announced that he was going to take his nap now.

“Nagase you pull the curtain back, to give you guys a little more privacy.”

Haru nodded and got up from his seat next to Makoto and pulled the current to separate the two beds. When he finished the task he walked back over to Makoto and sat back down. 

“How are you feeling?” _Should have asked this sooner…_

“It’s just a dull ache for me now, I’ll be discharged soon, I think, but I’ll be off duty for a while longer… Haruka? Are you okay??”

Haru clenching his fists, I did this to him. Getting up from the chair he took slow steps till he was pulling himself up onto the hospital bed; he grabbed Makoto’s arm and squeezed. _He’s alive_

_It’s your fault he’s here in the first place_

_I_

_You’re to blame_

_I didn’t want_

_You hurt him_

Slowly Haruka wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck, leaned forward and kissed Makoto on the cheek then he laid his head on his shoulder facing away from him, blinking in rapid secession so the tears would spill freely.

“I was scared you’re injuries were worse.”

_I thought I hit something that would kill you._

_I thought I was going to be the reason why you die._

He felt Makoto tensing just a bit, and then relaxing as he wrapped his arming around him, pulling him into a hug and kissing him on the temple, “I’m sorry to have worried you.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Haru allowing Makoto to rub his back reassuringly as he let a few more tears fall; though the little moment of theirs was ruined when the sound of Sousuke snoring got louder. His head moved with Makoto’s shoulder as he laughed, kissed his temple again then pulled away to look at him; if Haru leaned in just a little more their lips would have toughed. 

“Thank you for visiting.”

With his arms no longer around Makoto’s neck, Haru was startled when he felt long fingers caressing his hand and intertwining with his fingers. A blush flushed down his face and he tried to turn away and hide it from Makoto, but from the brilliant smile the man before him gave him, he failed.

_This is what it feels like to be loved by another this way… it’s… embarrassing. I – I wonder if mom and dad made each other feel like this._

Instead of questioning himself on why he thought of his parents, he decided it would be best to just focus on the conversation he was having with Makoto.

“Obviously I’d visit. I would have come sooner, but I caught a cold.” He looked away and rubbed at his nose. _Keep to little lies, they’re the most believable._

Makoto squeezed his hand, “Its fine, it just made today more exciting to see you!”

_How can he be able to say those things so easily??_

Haru felt his hands shaking in embarrassment; he didn’t even know that was a thing that could happen.

“Can I open the window, and get some fresh air in here?” _I need the distraction._

When Haru looked to Makoto he was smiling at him kindly.

 _Guess that’s a yes._ Haru got up and made is way over towards the window, though he was sure to be quite since Sousuke was still sleeping.

“Oh! How is your friend, I just remembered that when I was dealing with all my own stuff, you were taking care of a friend, right?”

Haru glanced over his shoulder and saw that Makoto looked concerned. _I guess I can play a bit with the lie I told before._

“Hmm, everything’s fine he just needed to be picked up from work cause of a cold… that’s actually how I got sick, I –

Haru cut himself short when his foot knocked something over. He bent down to fix whatever it was when his hand stopped; eyes widening he found himself staring at a white briefcase. In the back of his mind he registered that Makoto was still watching him, but he didn’t care, this… this was –

Licking his lips he tried to keep his voice steady, “Uh, is it okay if I touch this or… is that not allowed?”

Somehow he managed to sound like he wasn’t about to start hyperventilating. He took a chance and turned his head just enough to where he could see Makoto from the corner of his eyes and saw Makoto was trying to lean over and see for himself what Haru was talking about, but something must have started to hurt.

“What is it?”

“It’s a briefcase.”

Makoto perked up and smiled.

“Oh! Yeah go ahead and move her, that’s my quinque, Nanase!”

…

_Her…_

…

_Nana…se…?_

Haru’s body was trembling.

“I’ve had her for a couple years now; Sasabe-san gave her to me actually…”

His attention was back on the briefcase in front of him, but now with wide eyes and quivering lips, he had to bite into his cheek to stop himself from crying out loud then and there.

_The quinque… that injured me_

_“Haruka~ mommy loves you so much!”_

“Haruka…? Are you okay you look pale?!”

“Don’t –

_The reason why I had that dream – memory was –_

Haru stumbled backwards tripping over his own feet and fell onto his butt, his hand over his mouth.

“Haruka!”

The voice of him as a toddler echoed in his head.

_“Momma, Momma!!”_

Again he could hear Makoto calling to him, but the sound of his mother’s voice over powered Makoto’s. It was as if she was in the room cradling him in her arms like she used to… whispering in his hear.

_“Shhh, Momma loves you, Daddy loves you, we love you so very much Haruka. Our Haruka.”_

He didn’t know he was sliding himself backwards along the floor till his back hit the door and he gasped; taking in gulp after gulp of air.

“I… I have to go.” He hardly sounded like himself and from the terrified look on Makoto’s face he didn’t look like himself either.

“Haruka, wait!” Makoto’s voice cracked.

_I can’t be here right now._

He was shaking his head as he scrambled to his feet, opened the door and took off in a sprint.

_“We’ll be here Haruka, waiting for you, me and grandma.”_

If the feeling of arms hugging him were his imagination, he hoped he never stopped imagining.

+

**_Five Hours Later_ **

Rei and Ikuya had wrapped him up in blankets and made way too much coffee, but he appreciated it.

None of them had said a single word; they only sat next on either side of Haru and stayed by his side for the whole five hours he had been home. They had fallen asleep; Rei on his right shoulder, Ikuya with his head on Haru’s lap, but Haru stayed awake with dried tear stains on his face while he ran his fingers through Ikuya’s hair. 

_It feels like all I’ve done is cry recently._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((next part is the last one))

**_Four Months Later_ **

It was hard for Haru to believe that four months had gone by already, it seemed like just yesterday he had gone down to the hospital to visit Makoto. And now here he was at home hacking up one of two bodies.

After the incident of him refusing to leave his room and leading to him practically starving himself to death two months ago, Ikuya made it a point to bring extra food over when he was visiting from the third; hence why he had three bodies to refrigerate; now he didn’t consider himself a binge eater, but he sure felt like it when he was storing this amount of food and later found himself snacking on it even when he wasn’t hungry.

_I need to get out more…_

Sighing Haru hung his head and stilled his hand that had been about to slicing off another layer of skin; things had been he’ll admit… a little lonely, but at the same time not really since he had either Asahi, Rei or Ikuya with him every other day or week, but he still felt hollow inside when he was left alone to his own devices.

And he absolutely knew the reason behind him feeling this way too.

“Um Haru… this is the third time Tachibana has called me… I don’t know what you want me to do.”

Right… he nearly forgot Asahi had come over earlier this morning to help him with organizing all the bodies once they were chopped and sliced into big enough pieces to be stored in containers.

 _I’ve been avoiding all of his attempts at reaching me… so now he’s calling Asahi…_ Haru sighed and took a few steps to the sink and washed his hands free of blood.

“Haru!”

“Just ignore him like the other two times.”

“I can only ignore him for so long Haru, I do work with him you know?”

Haru had to keep himself from snorting out loud, so instead he went with rolling his eyes, “Really you don’t, the only reason why you come here anymore is to visit, I’m sure Yazaki would love to hear all about the time you take off, when you should be doing work.” Haru sounded like he was complaining about Asahi visiting so frequently but honestly he enjoyed Asahi’s company a lot, especially when the other two were back at their own homes. Because apparently leaving him to his own devices either gets him killed or he subconsciously tries to kill himself. _Makoto really was the perfect distraction._

“Haru… please tell my you’re kidding and you’re not really going to tell on me!” Asahi genuinely looked concerned for his own safety, looking around the room as if Yazaki was going to pop up out of nowhere. Which really should be the last of his worries, he is an investigator helping at ghoul dismember humans after all. 

Walking over towards Asahi, Haru pulled the still ring phone out of his hands and dangled it in his face, “You deal with him, and my couch will continue to be yours.” Haru found it easy to play off ignoring Makoto when the others were around.

Asahi made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded close to a whimper, and that really did make Haru snort, “I’m kidding” he tossed the phone and watched Asahi fumble with it before he got a proper hold on it, “just… keep him busy yeah?” _I’m not ready to talk to him just yet… even though it has been months since we last spoke or even saw each other._  

The phone stopped ring and Asahi hung his head in defeat, “Okay… when he calls again I’ll… I’ll answer and see what he has to say alright.”

Humming in contentment he went back to his task; Asahi following him like a duckling.   

“Thank you.” And Haru really meant it; he appreciated his friends putting up with him the past couple of months, they could have left him to deal with his own problems he got himself into but they’ve stuck by his side. 

When Asahi bumped his shoulder Haru smiled, moments like this were nice; he just wished they could last a lifetime and more.  

For about twenty minutes they worked in silence before Asahi’s phone started to ring again. Wiping his hands quickly he looked to Haru and nodded, hyped himself up and answered the phone.

“Hello~”

With his good hearing Haru could hear a tiny version of Makoto’s voice and it hurt, hearing how worried he sounded, but when he heard his name being mentioned he quickly cleaned his hands and left the kitchen to go to his room to retrieve his phone and grabbed a pair of head phones; putting the earbuds in, but before hitting play he listened to Asahi’s side of the conversation.

“Ahh, sorry, sorry, I was busy… cleaning.”

“Um, ya I am actually.”  

“Yeah… that would be fine.”

“No… I haven’t seen him.”

Haru went through his playlists and picked the one with the loudest music he had, pressed play and turned the volume up till he couldn’t hear even the wind outside let alone Asahi talking. Cracking his neck his took a few deep calming breathes and left his room and headed back into the kitchen, he had organs to dig out after all; they wouldn’t dig themselves out.

He saw Asahi nodding and his mouth was moving but he couldn’t hear anything being said. _Good._   

Grabbing his knife he got back to work.

Haru gently placed the tip of the knife at the center of the throat – in the same spot as where he had been stabbed he remembered thoughtfully – and pressed down till the sharpened end slowly slid into the body. Just as slowly he pulled down until the knife hit the top of the breastbone – or the sternum, he wasn’t picky with terminology. Wiggling the knife a little he pulled it up just so the very tip was still in the throat and cut the thin layer of skin just over the breastbone and continued downwards till he reached the end of the sternum. Haru pulled the knife out completely now and then went back up to where the ribs started and plunged the knife in between the spaces of the ribs and pulled down, cutting the meat all the way back to the spine. He was just about ready to pull the meat off then break the bone structure that made up the ribs and sternum when he felt a tap on his arm.

He looked up at Asahi and pulled one of the earbuds out. “What?”

“I’m going to go meet up with Tachibana at a café. I’ll be back in a few; you can take care of this all yourself right?”

“Hmmm” _of course I can._

Haru was used to doing stuff like this on his own anyway; it was therapeutic in a way, just him and the body as he carefully harvested everything.

“Not too much work for ya?”

His teasing tone had Haru holding the knife in from of Asahi’s face, a smirk on his own face as he spoke. “Get a move on. I’ll probably still be doing this by the time you get back so… hurry up and get back here soon so you can be more help to me.”

Asahi held his hands up in surrender laughing, “Of course, I won’t tell him too much all right; besides, you should talk to him soon on your own… I know you miss him.”   

He tried not to pout he really did, but he dropped his arm back to his side and huffed.

“I have work to do and you have a café to be at, now get going.”

He put the earbud back in his ear and the music seemed fitting, the loud beats had Haru bobbing his head and tapping his foot along with them; the English words: Manslaughter made him smile, while he was only dealing with a dead body it still made him chuckle as he used the handle of the knife and beat the sternum repeatedly until the cracks gave away and shattered, leaving just the ribs standing near the spine and the organs he had yet to get to. Looking at his handy work he nodded and hit the repeat button.

He had a new favorite song now when working.

+

Wiping his forehead he took a large gulp of water and scooped up all the bones lying around on the counter into a bucket he had found in his closet and set it aside. 

_One body done; two more to go_

He turned around and picked up the next body up off the ground and dropped it onto the counter, removed the clothes and just like that Haru started to process all over again.

Chopping off all the limbs starting with the head, then worked on the left side of the body first: the hands, the arms, the feet, breaking the patella so the femur and fibula were separated, chopping at the inguinal ligament till the thigh was no longer attached to the pelvic bone; all the limbs were placed to the side to be dealt with last. When the others were over helping him, they would usually be the ones to take care of those smaller bits, but when it was just Haru he did them last. Reaching around in one of the top drawers grabbing a clean towel Haru wiped both sides of blade so the blood wouldn’t ruin the knife and make it harder to cut the other limbs. And so, he moved on the right side of the body and repeated the process of dismemberment.

~~~~

Haru was used to the others barging into his home; it came with the territory when he had friends like Asahi and Rei in his life; Ikuya was more likely to knock way back when but now, Haru was pretty sure Rei just rubbed off on him, so just like the other two Ikuya had a habit of coming in uninvited. Sometimes, when they couldn’t just walk around blood stains all over them, the window in his room was their entry way. 

So when he heard his front door being banged on repeatedly Haru was very confused, none of the three did that since they all had key’s to his place… but it was probably Asahi rushing back... maybe he forgot his key.

He wiped his hands on the apron that he was wearing, and started to shuffle towards the front door to let Asahi in.

However, right as his hand touch the door knob he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket; real quick he fished it out and saw that… Asahi… messaged him… frowning he looked back towards the door then back down at his phone and opened the message and felt his feet become one with the floor.   

Haru I’m sorry!! But you two need to work things out! Properly!!

P.S. Please don’t kill me.

Haru wanted to smash his phone against the wall. Asahi didn’t explicitly say what he did, but he had a pretty good fucking clue, especially when the banging turned to barely there knocks.

“Haruka…”

And just like that his knee’s buckled and damn… Haru had not expected his body to react in such a way: Heart racing, hands and legs shaking, the sharp intake of breath. None of this was what he mentally prepared himself for when this time eventually came and now his body was moving on autopilot.

It was painful how slow he turned the handle, but once it was turned as far as it would go he swung the door open and was face to face with the man that had captured his heart all those months ago.

The two of them gaped at one another for a solid three minutes before Makoto moved first and wrapped his arms around Haru’s body. Haru on the other hand couldn’t move. His body felt mechanical when he tried to hug Makoto back, and it seemed it didn’t go unnoticed either. When Makoto pulled himself away from him and gently, oh so gently, cupped his face and just rested his forehead against his.

Haru felt his body moving backwards then, though instead of feeling panicked he let himself be lead back into his house; another few steps and he heard the dooring being closed then faintly noticed Makoto kicking his shoes off. Through everything he kept their forehead touching and his hands cradling Haru’s face.

“Pardon the intrusion.”

It wasn’t until those words were said did Haru realize what predicament he was in; he still had a corpse lying on his kitchen counter and he let himself be caught up in Makoto’s pace.

This time his heart started to race for a completely different reason.

+

Haru felt like he was going to throw up.

“Shit, you… you shouldn’t be here.”  As the words left his mouth he was tugging on the apron as if that would hide the blood all over the front of it; quickly he walked back up to Makoto and started to shove him back towards the door.

“You need to leave, now.”

Haru happened to glance down and saw blotches of blood that had seeped into the front of Makoto shirt and he balled his hands into fists.

“Haruka, I can’t just –

“You can and you will!”         

A much bigger hand took hold of his wrist, there was no force behind it, and Makoto started to stroke his thumb along Haru’s wrist bone, trying to calm him down. Haru really hated how it seemed to work… betrayed by his own body again.

Makoto spoke softly, “Hey… it’s alright; everything is going to be okay. I –

_That’s what everyone says just before something bad happens… you can’t; you can’t do this to me!_

“Don’t you dare try to make promises like that!” He pulled his hand, that Makoto hand been holding, free and grabbed the front of Makoto’s shirt; gripping the soft material he couldn’t help himself; he rested his forehead on Makoto’s collarbone. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

He heard nothing but their breathing until it was interrupted when Makoto started humming; then felt Makoto’s other hand lightly touch his back and start to run it up and down his back; like how a mother would comfort her child, sometimes he would start rubbing circles on his lower back and continue with that motion all the way back up his back. Haru would have been content just like that, but then he felt Makoto’s body go ridged, hand freezing just under his shoulder blade and he could hear his heart beating quicker and the flow of his blooding running in his veins.

His grip tightened even more on the shirt in his hands and he slowly pulled his head away from Makoto’s collar and held his breath, Haru refused to look at the expression that would be on his face. He knew what Makoto was looking at.

“Wow… so...” he could hear the saliva go down in Makoto’s esophagus when he swallowed, “that’s… hu… that’s how you, you…” his voice trailed off and his heart rate picked up even more before it started to slow again. It seemed the longer he looked the more he calmed down or he was willing his heart to calm down.

_Strange_

Makoto’s body started to go slack and Haru took that moment to add a proper amount of distance between them.

“I’d like for you to leave now.” Haru felt just a little bit more in control now.

“But –

Haru shook his head, “No buts… this is…,” he gestured at himself and Makoto, “I can’t do this right now.”

It wasn’t a lie per say, but Haru wasn’t being completely honest either, but what would another little lie do to all the other lies he’s told? _Nothing, absolutely nothing_

He was a ghoul and Makoto was an investigator, and now… he was going to tell the other investigators and they were going to come down here and kill him. Maybe not right away, but when he was least expected it… or he could get his things packed as soon as possible and leave before that could happen. Maybe crash with Rei if need be.

“Do you think that lowly of me Haruka?!”

Umm… What.

Makoto crossed his arms over his chest and gave him a hurt look.

_Ah… I said all that out loud didn’t I? Wonderful._

“I’m not telling anyone! I promised and… I could never do that to you.” Makoto looked so sure of himself, so sure that he could deal with Haru and his… habits but… _but he kind of has already hasn’t he… maybe._ Haru shook his head, no; these weren’t just little quirks about him this is how he lives his daily life. He is a ghoul and he killed and ate humans like Makoto on a regular bases.

_But I’ve also been dating him for…_

_For… how many?_

_What month was it now?_

“I – I want you to believe me.”

Shaking his previous thought away Haru looked Makoto up and down. He really wanted to believe Makoto. Haru’s life was boring before, even to the point to where he decided at some point it was a good idea to practically starve himself for a while. _If it wasn’t for those choices though, I never would have met Makoto in the first place…_

“Haruka please talk to me…” Makoto was starting to look squeamish again and some if not all of his confidence was disappearing; it was amazing that the man standing before him was an investigator to begin with.

Rubbing his hand over his mouth Haru weighted his options, which was either going to be one of two things: kick Makoto out, or let him stay.

Sighing for the umpteenth time Haru places his left hand on his side and rubbed at his forehead with his right, “Just… stay put in here. Don’t say anything! Just. Sit. No talking. Got it?” He’d deal with Makoto later.

He hated how Makoto’s eyes seemed to light up while he nodded. Not wanting to look at how happy he seemed to be Haru quickly turned his back to Makoto and stalked back into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, a familiar comfortable place, Haru got to work with what he had been doing before Makoto’s arrival, collecting all the blood vessels from what was left of the body; it was the most tedious and troublesome part, but they tasted good and the made for a nice snack if he wakes up in the middle of the night, kind of like water, filling.

Haru was so absorbed in his task that he failed to notice Makoto was now loitering in the entry way to the kitchen – instead of stay put like Haru had told him to do. His eyes clued onto the body that was just an open corpse with the organs laying all around on and in plastic baggies, and slabs of meat chopped into to bite sized pieces – he planned on save those for when Ikuya and Rei visited again, he was going to make them a meal, what humans called soup, but instead of the ingredients humans used, obviously; he was going to make it with blood, and a mix of thigh muscle and fat, with some tendons that had been located in the arms of the humans and to top it off with some crushed bones, and now that he thought about it he might thin out some of the blood vessels even more and add some of those as well.

But then he saw movement from the corner of his eyes and soon all this became beside the point; the point being that Makoto was transfixed on all of this.

“I thought I said to stay in the other room!” Haru hated how is voice cracked.

+

Makoto was staring at him like he had a second head, and Haru felt like he was going to be sick, again.

The two of them just stared at one another and he had no idea what to do, he wasn’t ready for this whole thing to begin with, normally you ease someone into something insane like this, but no! Makoto had to come barging in here and… and… suddenly… Makoto was speaking. Though it was so fast he was more rambling.

“In two months it’ll be our one year anniversary.” Haru tensed _, what,_ “I thought that since, it’s been so long that I could help you. I mean since before coming to meet with me Shiina said he had been here, that means he was helping you right? I want to help you, like how… Shiina… does…with” Makoto paused, “all this.”

Haru almost choked on his spit. While what Makoto was saying was thoughtful one thing stuck out the most to him.

_Our anniversary is in two months…??_

Haru wasn’t one for freaking out, but his body was full of surprises today it seemed; upon hearing those words Haru went scrambling for his calendar.

_Damn it, damn it where is it?!_

_Did Rei or Ikuya hide it?_

_Where the fuck!?_     

When he almost lost a full container of stomachs to the floor, he tried to tone things down just a bit and soon enough with a less frazzled brain he found his calendar shoved in the very back of one of the drawers. Opening it he was set on looking at December, but when it fell open to October, he couldn’t help himself. He looked at the date that pretty much marked the start of the change in his life. The eight of October, when he fucked up and almost got himself killed and Makoto had kept him alive.

Faintly he heard Makoto’s feet shuffling closer to him and Haru let him. Silently they stood next to one another, but then Makoto mumbled out, “Why the eighth of October?”

Haru bit his lip to keep himself from smiling and then nudged Makoto’s arm, barely touching him and spoke, “The eighth… is when you found me and brought me back to your place.”

Makoto didn’t speak after that, until after Haru finally lifted the pages to December, showing that the fifth, like the eight, was circled. Only this time there were little tiny question marks all around the circle. Haru waited for Makoto’s next question that he knew was coming.

“Why the question marks?”

Haruka smiled and let go of the pages, closing the calendar all together, “I didn’t know what to get you, or if I wanted to make something for you.”

Haru couldn’t stop the snort that left him when he saw the disgusted look on Makoto’s face as he looked at Haru’s food.

The thought of feeding Makoto, another human had never crossed his mind in the slightest. “Not that, never that… Asahi was going to be my helper and taste tester. Get me all the ingredients and then try the food as I made it. He’s actually always done that for me.”

Haru rolled his eyes when Makoto stayed quiet again. There wasn’t much to it, just that Asahi was always there when he needed him as his only human friend.

“Nanase Haruka.”

Haruka jumped at the sound of his full name, his real name, and looked up at Makoto with wide eyes. The shiver that went down his spine, he tried to ignore, because Makoto was going to be honest with him right now. He could feel it.

Makoto took a step back from him and bowed.

“I… also want to help you, I want to help you with your cooking, I want to be there for you when you have a bad day and I want you to be able to rant to me about anything that’s bothering you. Whether it’s about another ghoul or a run in with an investigator; I want to listen to it all!” Makoto started to bow even lower before speaking again, “I’m sorry. My quinque… is someone very very important to you and even though I didn’t know, I feel terrible and I promise to never use her ever again. I’ll even give her to you so no one else can use her for the purpose of killing if you want.”

Haru was baffled. Nothing would have prepared Haru for what Makoto had said and what he chose to say… He wanted to be there for him… really be there and listen to his problems that came with being a ghoul in this world. He was going to give his mother back to him. Haru’s lift his hand to his mouth and bit down on his index finger to make sure he wasn’t dreaming up this entire thing.

He wasn’t.

Slowly he reached out and ran his fingers through Makoto’s hair and then lifted his head with his other hand. 

For the first time, he smiled a real smile to someone that wasn’t his friends.

“I’d like that. All of what you said.”

Haruka then push himself up on his tippy toes and brushed his lips against Makoto’s.

“And just Haru is fine.” As much as he likes the sound of Makoto saying his full name, it was time he started calling him like this. 


End file.
